Express don't repress
This is a great technique to use to really connect with what is upsetting you. Suppressed anger and pain can be difficult to access because we are experts at locking it away unfortunately suppressed emotions can make you feel numb and stop you connecting with any emotions and that makes it very difficult to know who you are or what you want.
So often we are slowly beaten down by a situation or a person, each day we make a little adjustment here and there, putting our own needs wants or desires to the back of the list. We tell ourselves that it is ok, no biggy, we can handle this, it doesn’t matter and we are sure that things will get better. As time goes by things don’t get any better, we just kept giving, adjusting our own dreams and needs until there is nothing left of us.
Every time we make this adjustment we have to swallow our feelings, push them deep down inside, we are telling ourselves that our feelings aren’t justified, they aren’t real or important until eventually we aren’t really feeling anything at all. But we need our feelings, they guide us, either to look at our own self development or to bring the fire in our belly to make necessary changes.
They will show us when something is out of balance and needs attention, they show us the beauty of life and how the simplest of pleasures make our hearts sing, they also show us when we are being treated badly and need to create some better boundaries or find our voice.
When we have got to the point where we are numb and disconnected from our feelings we may feel that we are ok, nothing seems to be bothering us but the absence of negative feeling is not the same as feeling alive fulfilled and joyful. Think about it, you may not feel sad or angry but do you feel joy?
When I can feel anger in my body but I don’t know where it is coming from I use this technique as I am walking in the mornings. I say this out loud.
I’m angry because……..
I’m angry because…….
I’m angry because………
Repeat this until you are completely spent.
You may find this quite hard at first and think but I am not angry and you may search around for something that has pissed you off recently.Keep going as you will find something, it may start off small but as you get into your stride you will be surprised at what pops up.
Really get into it, shout your anger out into the wind or the sea! Find somewhere that you can do this and really let yourself go. It is amazing! To really connect with your emotions and give yourself permission to feel them is so empowering. Just by seeing them, recognising them and expressing them will release them.
You will then be exhausted but clear headed, you will know what you will need to do. You will start to see patterns emerging and cycles repeating, there is likely to be a common thread or theme to your anger. It may be that you see where you give your power away or that you seek out unsuitable partnerships, whatever it is you will see what you need to do.
It is important to process what comes up for you because although you have released the suppressed emotion you have not dealt with the core imbalance or wound that created it in the first place.
This technique is simple but hugely liberating and empowering, so give it a go!
You can try it with different emotions –
I feel hurt because……..
I feel afraid because……
Whatever you feel is important for you go with it. You know yourself better than anyone and you know what is right for you, remember that.
If you are interested in learning an awesome processing technique consider signing up for Unlock the Potential of You.
Have a fabulous day
Love and laughter Michele